When Surrogacy Goes Badly, There Are Never Any Winners

“Recently I had a young woman reach out to me on Facebook via direct message. Her message began with, “I have a super urgent question. I knew immediately it was either an egg “donation” or surrogacy gone bad problem.

The woman went on to describe a current situation in her family involving her niece, a young married mother with four young children, doing her second surrogacy. During her first surrogacy she delivered twins, and since it was without any noticeable problems, she decided to do another surrogacy. Her aunt communicated to me that her niece is very kind, caring, and loves to help people.

However, this surrogate pregnancy had taken a dramatic turn for the worse because, during her second trimester, she was diagnosed with aggressive metastatic breast cancer. The problem facing her niece, she explained, was if she consented to treatment directed at her cancer, she would be required to terminate the pregnancy because the cancer therapy would be harmful to the developing 24-week fetus. Unwilling to abort the baby, the surrogate mother and her family were left trying to find a hospital where she would be allowed to deliver the baby early, in order to allow her to begin her cancer treatment.  They knew that at this stage in the pregnancy the baby might not survive but that with support from the hospital staff, the baby could possibly survive.”